2013 .... A pretty awesome year!

New Year's Eve seemed to creep up really quickly this year.  It's weird to think that last week it was Christmas Eve and now tomorrow starts 2014.  Our family has been so busy that time is just flying.  Each day we go through all the motions involved with taking care of two children, the household and ourselves that you blink and another year has gone by.  I am not one who spends a lot of time reflecting on the year past, come each December 31st, but this year I really started thinking about how different our lives are from this time last year.   We are in a completely different place in our lives.

Last year I was pregnant and struggling with morning sickness.  I was working part-time and was really starting to feel that something was "off" about Thomas's behavior.  It's funny to think that at this time last year, he hadn't even started at his preschool yet.  That started in February and after 8 weeks of silence in school (a complete shock to me) and a caring teacher, led us to discover what was going on with our sweet son... selective mutism.  How wonderful to finally understand what was going on with my son and explain many of the questions I had, but very scary at the same time.  What now? 

Our whole future was a big question mark.  How would we get help for Thomas?  How would we afford treatments?  How will he be with the huge transition of a new sibling?  How would we handle all these changes, while dealing with a son with special needs?  Will I quit my job to raise 2 children?  How will we handle all of this?

I am a planner and hate the unknown, but most of these questions were not able to be answered.  We just had to live life to see how they would turn out.  Looking back I can answer them all now.

We got help for Thomas by contacting the Smart Center.   Best decision we could have ever made.  Maybe I should say best google search I ever did, because that's how I found the place that would help us so much.  They were known to be the best of the best.  People came to Dr. E. from all over the country and even other countries.  We were so lucky that she is only 30 minutes away from us!  How would we afford it?  We just do.  We cut back here and there.  Yes, it hurts writing out those big checks, but it is necessary and so worth it.

The transition of bringing a new family member into our house was an adjustment for all of us, especially Thomas.  He wanted nothing to do with him at the hospital, but once we brought the baby home, he did really well.  It took him a long time for him to want to hold him, but now he wants to hold his hand every day and give him hugs.  How will we handle all of this?  Day by day.  The whole summer was a blur, but we got through it.  We went for our first meeting with Dr. E. 2 months after the baby was born.  The treatment is a HUGE committment on both the parents and child.  I was so overwhelmed, but really had to take everything day by day.  I decided to quit my job and stay home with the boys.  It was a really tough decision to leave a job I absolutely loved and worked very hard to get, but knew I needed to be home to help us navigate through our new lives with a baby and a special needs son.  We feel very fortunate that my husband's job provides enough income for us to do this.

This time last year, Thomas was completely mute, frozen and expressionless with strangers and some family members.  Now after only 4 months of treatment, he is handing over and taking things from people, waving to people from a safe distance, smiling and always communicating in some way whether verbally or nonverbally.  He is placing his order at restaurants and asking for things in stores.  I could have never even imagined this last year!  Today during one of our scavenger hunts at ShopRite, he started asking for things in full sentences to the workers.  When we approached a worker, he would say, "Where is the... (fill in the item we were looking for)"  This may seem like nothing to an outsider, but if you know someone with selective mutism this is huge!  A great way to end 2013. 

As for our family, we are doing great.  We have learned a  lot and grown so much over this past year.  We know how to better handle situations with Thomas and are all much happier and less frustrated.  This time last year we wondered what our new baby would be like and now he is six months old, sitting up, eating solids and getting into everything.  Life is good.  I am really excited to see what 2014 will bring!  Happy New Year!

Scavenger Hunt Sentences

Thomas is still enjoying the scavenger hunts and is very good at verbally expressing what we are looking for directly to the worker.   Now when we approach someone he will say a full sentence instead of just the item we are looking for, i.e. “We are looking for cookies.”   He knows asking in a sentence can earn him more stickers on his prize chart than a single word and it's working.  He is very confident when asking for something he has practiced, but if someone asks him a follow up question like "What kind of cookies do you want," he bridges down to nonverbal.