"Focus on what I can do, instead of what I can't!"

Thomas went to Vacation Bible School at our church this week and I helped out.  It is rare that I get a glimpse of him in a "classroom" type setting and so of course I was curious as to how he would interact.  As moms, I feel like we are always the first to defend our child, but also can be our child's toughest critic - not in a mean way, but just because you want the best for them.

He did an amazing job speaking and talking with the other children, but he has a lot of trouble with the singing and coordinated movement activities that are unfortunately a HUGE part of every damn kid activity.  There's always dancing, silly movement and songs, because most kids love that stuff.  My heart absolutely breaks for him when I see him standing stiff as a board at the back of a group of carefree, excited kids singing and dancing their little hearts out.  It is part anxiety, part sensory related, but it is just a mother's instinct to want to help him.  I went over and stood next to him a few times that week to do the movements.  I could feel his anxiety, but could often make him laugh and take the pressure off him by doing some silly things.

At dinner tonight, we were talking about the day and I mentioned to my husband that Thomas had a good day, but had some trouble with the songs at VBS.  Thomas quickly jumped in and said "Yeah but I did try and I clapped for the one song!"  He was right!  Although he didn't come right out and say it, it was like he was yelling, "Focus on what I can do, instead of what I can't!"  And he is absolutely right!  Why didn't I say that instead!  I was so focused on what Thomas wasn't doing,  that I didn't celebrate what he did do, which was a BIG accomplishment for him.  I made sure he knew how proud I was of this that night and I am now making a much more concentrated effort to focus on all the amazing things he is doing instead of getting caught up in the things he can't do yet.