Tips for the holidays -part 1 (Holiday get togethers)

The holidays can be a challenging time for anyone, but for a child with sm it can be extremely difficult. The change in routine, new settings, unfamiliar faces asking questions, relatives wanting pictures, and increased expectation from unfamiliar family and friends can easily lead to meltdowns from them and you as a parent.  I've been there and it's not pretty.  You try to figure out how to best help your child, while fielding questions from family and friends who mean well but just don't get it. You get frustrated with relatives, yourself and even your child.  Here are some tips I have learned over time that have helped with holiday get togethers.

1.  Arrive early.  Allow for warm up time.  It will be easier for your child to get used to a new environment before the home fills with people and noise.  Talk with your host beforehand to make sure this is okay.  More often than not, when given notice, a host/hostess is more than happy to comply.

2.  Get your child involved without the need to speak.  Bringing a gift for the host/hostess?  Ask your child ahead of time to hand it to them when they arrive.  Have them pass things at the table or hand over some of the toys they bring to show others which brings me to tip 3.....

3.  Bring props!  Have your child bring a backpack full of some of their favorite toys. My son would never answer personal questions, but after having time to warm up, he would often answer questions about his favorite Thomas the Tank train or book.  The focus is on the prop and not them, therefore decreasing anxiety.

4. Be prepared with common questions. Your child is going to get asked them.  What's your name?  How old are you?  What grade are you in?  What do you want for Christmas? Whatever you can foresee, prepare them for it. Go over these questions with your child so that they are confident answering them.  If this is too much for them, help them by giving them a choice when asked.  Thomas, are you 3 or 4?  If this is too big of a challenge for your child at the time, make flash cards with the answers to show/handover to the person asking the question.  Make it a fun activity for them and have them decorate the cards.

5. Lower your expectations. Unfamiliar settings and people are bound to cause anxiety for the child with sm.   Relax and try not to get too upset about others misunderstandings regarding your child.  Unless you live it, you won't get fully get it.  Educate them the best you can, prepare your child, be there for them and oh have some fun!!!