A Home For Bird

A great read for any child, but I think this is an especially sweet story for someone who is struggling with selective mutism.

Why Does Izzy Cover Her Ears? Dealing with Sensory Overload

This week's book deals with SPD. Why Does Izzy Cover her Ears is a book that addresses sensory defensiveness. For some reason, the intro music is not working on my video today, but everything else you can hear.  

Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverts

For this Fridays's Books that Build review, I reviewed Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introvertsby Susan Cain.

Click the Youtube icon in bottom right of the video to go to my page and subscribe for future videos.  Here you will also find a link to finding more about this book.

Books that Build- When Lions Roar

For this Fridays's Books that Build review, I reviewed When Lions Roarby Robie H. Harris and illustrated by Chris Raschka.

Each Friday I will be highlighting a book that aims to build courage, character and confidence in children who struggle with selective mutism, sensory processing difficulties, anxiety, or childhood sensitivities and fears.  I will be giving my honest reviews, sharing why the book did or did not go over well with me and my children and then you can decide if it would be helpful to share with your family.  

Click the Youtube icon in bottom right of the video to go to my page and subscribe for future videos.  Here you will also find a link to finding more about this book.

Books that Build - A book review of Maya's Voice

Hi Everyone!  I am so excited to kick off my Books that Build series today.  I will be using each Friday to highlight a book that aims to build courage, character and confidence in children who struggle with selective mutism, sensory processing difficulties, anxiety, or childhood sensitivities and fears.  I will be giving my honest reviews, sharing why the book did or did not go over well with me and my children and then you can decide if it would be helpful to share with your family.  

I decided to try my hand at Youtube and make this into a video series, so you could get a better view of the covers and the illustrations inside.  This is totally out of my comfort zone and I hate seeing myself on video, but my hope is that it will assist you in finding some great books that may be helpful to you/your children!  Click the Youtube icon in bottom right of the video to go to my page and subscribe for future videos.  Here you will also find a link to finding more about this book.

Some inspiration from Dr. Seuss

In honor of Dr. Seuss's birthday, a few favorite inspirational quotes!

It is so easy to get intimidated by the thought of speaking in certain environments or working through sensory difficulties.  Start with one small step and overtime with patience and persistence, all the little steps will add up and before you know it, your goal is within reach. You can do it!

A great quote to help us remember to accept ourselves and our children as we/they truly are.  There are good days and bad days when raising a child with special needs, but accepting them for who they truly are and helping them do the same for themselves is the first step toward great things!

The power of books for children with anxiety

Spontaneity does not occur very often in our household.  Sure there are fun surprises here and there, but it is safe to say that we don't jump into new things quickly.  Raising two boys (3 and 6) with sensory sensitivities, with one of them overcoming selective mutism, requires lots of preparation on my part.  New situations and experiences are often very difficult for them.  I have found that preparing my boys ahead of time with discussions on where we are going, who will be there, if it will be loud, what will be expected of them, etc. is essential to preventing a meltdown/shutdown from occurring.

Granted, I know I cannot prepare them for every situation they will encounter, but talking it through and answering their questions helps my boys feel more secure.  One of the most powerful things I have relied on to help me build their confidence and validate their feelings are books.  We have read books to help my son with his selective mutism, sensory challenges, anxiety over the first day of school, visiting the dentist, playdates and the list goes on and on.  Stories play a vital role in the development and growth of a child.  As a mom and a professional with a masters in information science, (specialization in children's literature) I have seen time and time again the power of the right book in the right hands at the right time.  Books provide inspiration, promote curiosity, give children a sense of security, provide characters that they can relate to, and act as a catalyst for further discussion.

Our story of selective mutism and sensory difficulties are documented in this blog, but as I move forward, this blog will become less and less about my family and more about creating awareness and providing resources to help others dealing with sm, spd, and childhood anxiety in general.  Beginning next week, I will be using each Friday to highlight a book on my blog.  It may be related to selective mutism or sensory challenges.  It may be a book that focuses on building confidence in children, especially those with anxiety.  It may be a book for children or occasionally a nonfiction book for adults in this subject area; however the majority will focus on books for children and middle grades, as that is my specialization.  I will be giving my honest reviews, sharing why they did or didn't go over well with my children and then you can decide if it would be helpful to share with your family.

I would love to know what books you have used to help yourself, your child or grandchild through a difficult time with selective mutism, sensory challenges, not fitting in, anxiety, etc.  Please use the contact form to send me a message and I will give you a shout out if I use the book.  My hope is that we can get the right books in the right hands at the right time to build confidence in our children.

Is your son or daughter a highly sensitive child?

Why does my child seem so sensitive to the world around them?  Why do they struggle with transitions?  Why is he /she having meltdowns over the simplest things?  Have you ever asked yourself these same questions? 

When Thomas started his selective mutism treatment at the Smart Center in 2013, I had communicated to his doctor that in addition to his lack of speaking to people outside of the home, he was overwhelmed easily and emotionally intense.   He seemed extremely sensitive to several aspects of his daily life- light, touch, textures, playground equipment, amusement rides etc.   I described him as someone who ‘Didn’t go with the flow’ and seemed to be ‘Scared of everything.’   I also mentioned that everyone who met him always commented on how observant he was and those he was comfortable speaking to were amazed at his advanced vocabulary.  After our first session, Dr. E. recommended a few books for me to read including, The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When The World Overwhelms Them by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D.  Reading this book really changed my perspective on everything that my son was going through.   It answered all my questions and more.  I quickly realized my son was a highly sensitive child (HSC) and it was a game changer.

I had never heard the terms highly sensitive person (HSP) or child (HSC), but as I started reading Dr. Aron’s book, it was clear to me that my son was one.  The title isn’t meant to be negative, but rather used simply to describe how a HSP’s nervous system is more highly aware and reactive to stimuli than others. Learning about HSPs cleared up so many questions about why he acted and reacted the way he did.  So many of his sensory processing troubles and “difficult” behavior could be connected back to being highly sensitive.   It was a turning point for me in understanding what my son was experiencing and how I, in turn, interacted with him. 

In reading through this book, my husband and I not only learned more about our son, but also discovered that we ourselves were both HSPs too.  The interesting thing is that according to the author, Dr. Elaine Aron, 15 to 20% of the population is a HSP, but just like selective mutism, it isn’t well known or fully understood by the general population.  I felt like I was slowly fitting all these missing puzzle pieces together to make sense of all the puzzling (no pun intended) behavior my son was exhibiting over the first few years of his life.
 

I am reading this book for the third time now and it is hands down one of the best books I have read in terms of understanding how my son perceives and interacts with the world.  In a society that increasingly seems to be geared toward bigger and better, it can be easy for an HSC to feel out of place and outnumbered.  You can see it trickling down to our children earlier than ever before.  Children are overscheduled with after school activities, sports take up weekends and travel teams are becoming more and more the norm.  Birthday parties are no longer at homes, but at bounce houses and loud activity complexes and classrooms seem to be brighter and louder with SMART board technology and the focus on interactive group participation.  So how do you help your child in a world that overstimulates them?

This book has given my husband and I so many useful tools and strategies to help us make Thomas's environment less overwhelming and I plan to highlight some of these in future posts. Since embracing our son’s sensitivities we have watched him thrive.  We have learned from our missteps and are continuing to learn more about his sensory limits.  Sometimes I have to remind myself that new situations are hard for him and providing down time after a stimulating school day or social event is essential.  I need to remember that he feels things deeply and needs me to be extra patient with him through it all.  Most importantly we need to continue to be his advocate and recognize, appreciate and praise the amazing attributes he has as a HSC, including his compassion, creativity, observant behavior, and loving nature.  

If you/your child has selective mutism and also struggles with sensory processing, is highly emotional and easily overstimulated, I urge you to read this book.  Click the link in the first paragraph or the graphic below to learn more about this wonderful book.  Also check out these HSP tests from the author’s site to find out if you or your child may be highly sensitive.  http://hsperson.com/test/

10 Strategies to Help Your Child with Selective Mutism Transition into the New School Year

Haircut help?

Okay, so I just saw this pop up in my facebook news feed and am freaking out with excitement! Thomas has always struggled with haircuts, but overtime has been able to tolerate them at a kid's place we go to. It is far away and expensive, so we have been trying for awhile to cut his hair at home with no luck. He can hold it together at the haircut place, but when he is in the company of people he feels completely comfortable with, all bets are off. My husband attempted cutting our boys' hair this summer with his buzzing clippers to save time and money, but it was an BIG fail for Thomas. (See my July 5, 2016 blog post) I am hoping this might be the answer for us! Calming Clipper Haircutting Kit for Sensory Sensitivity, 10 Piece

Quiet Power- a book for kids and teens

So after posting about  Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talkingand it's 5 year anniversary yesterday, my friend informed me that the author, Susan Cain, came out with a new edition specifically for kids and teens called  Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverts  How perfect is this for our selective mutism and highly sensitive children!!!!  This is now on my "Must read list."