Scared of sprinklers

Just when you think they can't possibly be scared of another thing, something else surfaces.  I attempted to set up a sprinkler today for them to run through.  It was a kid's sprinkler that was very low to the ground.  More like a little fountian.  Thomas has never been a fan of sprinklers.  He would tolerate when he was little and last year seemed to somewhat enjoy them.  This year though he wants nothing to do with them or splash pads and neither does Liam. Liam is terrified of them. Thomas verbalized that he doesn't like them splashing his face so I am thinking Liam might feel the same way and is just expressing it as a 3 year old would with a full out tantrum when he gets near one.  Long story short, it was a complete fail.  I feel bad, but sometimes I just want to scream, "Can you just be normal and run through a damn sprinkler like every other kid!"  LOL! Every day is an adventure!

Lego summer program

Thomas LOVES legos, so when I heard there was a Lego program being offered for an hour every Wednesday at the community center, I jumped on it.  I took him today and arrived early to let him warm up, but I could just tell this was going to be a challenging environment for him.  Nothing was set up when we got there, as kids came in, they were running around the room, pushing the chairs that were all on wheels everywhere and the instructor had a louder personality.  My 3 yr old Liam joined right in with the chaos, but Thomas gripped my hand tightly with a scared expression on his face.  Parents came and went, dropping off their children with ease.  One of his friends was in the class too, which helped a little, but not as much as I had hoped.  I ended up sitting on the floor with Thomas to help him get started with the Lego challenge of the afternoon which was "Summer"  Thomas loves to build, but the pressure of needing it to fit the theme and the fact that she mentioned them having to present it to everyone at the end of class started making him tear up.  We came up with the idea of building a beach.  Liam had already taken it upon himself to join the Lego building which was okay with the instructor and it was already 20 minutes in by then, so I stayed and helped.  I had to leave the room once to take Liam to the bathroom which set off pure panic in Thomas, but I assured him that I would be right back.  He did not present at the end and there was no pressure to which was good.  He had fun, but I am not going to stay for Lego camp each week!

More private swim lessons at the pool

I wasn't planning on doing swim lessons at the pool this summer, but I needed someone who wasn't me to get Thomas comfortable in the swim club pool.  I arranged private lessons once a week with the same college girl who taught him last year.  Thomas was excited up until the point when she got there.  He planted his feet and refused to move.  I had to pick him up and take him to the steps where he grabbed the hand rail and would not let go.  I pried his fingers off and literally handed this sobbing child to her.  Again I felt like a horrible mom, but sometimes he just needs that tough love and extra push.  And you know what, in two minutes he was fine and smiling!

Spike in separation anxiety at end of school year/beginning of summer

is   Thomas is currently suffering from pretty severe separation anxiety.  It intensifies and weans throughout the year.  For the past three years, every May til around mid July, he begins to get very intense separation anxiety and extreme clinginess to both my husband and I.  Looking back through this blog, I can see the same type of post written this time of year.  I attribute it to the fact that the end of the school year brings about a disruption of routine with class trips, ceremonies, more casual class time, etc and also adjusting from a school routine to a more laid back summer routine.  The beginning of summer was particularly difficult.  At home, Thomas has been having trouble being on a separate floor from me.  He is quick to follow if I need to go upstairs and gets upset very quickly if he can’t find me.  If he is with his three year old brother though, he is okay.  He also has trouble getting out of bed in the morning without me there.  He calls for me and will not usually get out of bed until I come in.  Hoping it decreases as the summer goes on, as in years past.

6th birthday

For the longest time, birthday parties were (and sometimes still are) a struggle for Thomas.  They are a recipe for sensory overload- noisy, chaotic, filled with silly games, loud music and overly excited children running around.  We love to celebrate birthdays in our family, but are very sensitive to Thomas's needs.  We have always done a family party, but last year was the first year he felt ready for a friend birthday party.  We only invited a few close friends of his and got his input on everything he wanted/did not want as far as games, activities, etc.  This year we did the same thing, but he really wanted to invite the whole class.  I was hesitant, but he has made so much progress this year, that I thought he could handle it.  We always do parties at home, because it is where he feels most comfortable.  Our goal is to plan a party that he would have fun at given his sensory limits and personality.  He is a big fan of Star Wars, so that was our theme this year.  Being a former event planner, I love to plan parties, and had a great time coming up with birthday games with Thomas.  My husband was even able to borrow a Darth Vader costume from a guy he works with, which was such a fun surprise for Thomas and his friends.  He was a little nervous when guests first showed up, because he was getting a lot of attention and questions thrown at him, but he warmed up rather quick.  He was talking and playing within a few minutes.  Such a fun day!

Kiddie Carnival Disaster

Every year the carnival comes to a town near us in June and we take the boys one evening.  We usually get some ice cream, play some games and maybe do a little ride or two.  This year we decided to go on kid's wrist band day on an incredibly hot afternoon after school.  The boys were tired. It was hot.  Thomas was also just getting over being sick.  We bought a few ride tickets, but Thomas was too scared to go on anything by himself and Liam was too short for the only ride he wanted to go on (bumper cars).  So I decided to take them on the merry go round, which has been hit or miss in the past.  Well this time it was a big miss!

Thomas and Liam had panic attacks on the merry go round and I was in the middle trying to keep both of them from jumping off their horses into my arms.  I think Thomas is truly terrified of the up and down motion of the horse and can only attribute this sincere fear to a sensory issue.  I cannot wrap my brain around this fear.  Liam on the other hand, could have been reacting to his brother's reaction or could have been experiencing the same fear.  He still won't go on swings and he definitely has some of his own sensory issues.  Ugh.  Either way I felt defeated.  Then we went to get water ice and they were out of the only flavor they wanted.  My three year old threw a tantrum and we left.  The whole carnival was one big, hot disaster.  We all left frustrated, but my husband and I were able to laugh about it later that night!  I mean full out panic attacks on the merry go round and me screaming in frustration!?!?  We must have looked crazy!!  Wouldn't be the first time though :)

Getting our feet wet at the pool this season

We ended the pool season last year with a bang.  Thomas was confident going in the 2 ft. pool and going over to the playground by himself, as long as I was in sight.  He even began to put his head partially underwater. His little brother Liam was happily splashing around in the baby pool and putting his feet in the big pool.  I was prepared for setbacks come June, since it had been over 9 months since the pool was last open.  Thomas had been taking swim lessons though and Liam was a year older so I was cautiously optimistic.

I can completely understand how the pool is a place ripe with sensory overload.  As you enter you pass by people coming in and out, the smells of the snack bar, loud music coming from the speakers, children running around chaotically from the sugar induced snack bar snacks and that's all before you even get close to the pools.  Then there is the act of getting into cold water with kids splashing and bumping into you.  This is A LOT for a child with sensory over responsiveness and as I am writing this, I am getting a much clearer understanding of why my son clings to me.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous of the parents who's children run off carefree with their friends and swim happily through the water with ease.  While they are reading the latest People magazine or talking with other parents about what camps their kids are in, I am trying to figure out how to get Thomas to calm his brain down and get the feeling back in my hand from his tight grip.  Last year, I'd dump all the toys in the baby wading pool and let him warm up in there with his baby brother.  Yes, it looked ridiculous, but it is just another reason why you can't worry about what other people think when it comes to SM and SPD.  If you are not living it, you just won't understand.

So when we get there, I dump all the toys in and wait for Liam to hop in like last year. Liam doesn't move.  I try to lift him in and he screams.  He is upset that his bathing suit will get wet!  What!?!?!?!  Liam wasn't even a concern today and it just is another example of why I think Liam has some sensory issues that need to be addressed.  Great.

So there we are, all three of us sitting in chairs in the baby pool area, sweating and miserable.  I am fighting both complete frustration and sadness, as we watch all the other carefree, pool loving kids swoop up our pool toys one by one to enjoy.  I ask myself the same question I asked this time last year, "Why did we sign up for the pool?"

Where have I been?

So as I am sure you have noticed, there is a big empty gap between when I posted in July until now.  It has been an extremely busy, amazing, challenging, whirlwind of a year.  We decided to move and sell our house at the end of July 2015.  As if we needed another challenge, right!?!?  We found a house literally around the block that we loved and so the next few months were a blur of cleaning, packing, negotiations, contractors, and chaos.  We moved the day after Thomas started Kindergarten.  Nothing like two huge changes (full day school and a move) for an anxious kid to deal with.  I have to say though, Thomas was a rock star.  Both the boys adapted so well and quickly.  I was so worried about how Thomas would handle kindergarten, but he did so well and ended up having a truly amazing year!  He has made so many new friends, had a great Halloween, participated in the school Christmas concert and church play.  (Didn't sing or speak, but got up there!)  Did the talent show with his class- WHAT!?!?!  That was a little tricky, but we gave him a prop- notice big pink heart and he did great.  He was one of the best t-ball players on his team this year and did fairly well with field day too.  There were some struggles, but overall, so much growth this year!  He will have an IEP for the upcoming year, but it will be much less detailed.  The child study team and I discussed the possibility of being able to phase it out half way through the year.  Again amazing progress.  I wish I could go into detail about everything that happened this year, but I want to have time to really continue this blog and keep updating on the current progress, so here are some pics to show the progress he made this year.

Confidently starting 1st day of kindergarten!

The Hulk in the school Halloween parade

Getting on stage in front of a crowd of over 100 people for the school talent show (holding the big heart)

One of the best t-ball players on his team this year

Holding the flag for the pledge in the kindergarten graduation ceremony.  Everyone had a speaking part, but since he was not comfortable speaking, the teacher and I worked to give him a special job.  He choose holding the flag to start off the show and for the pledge.

SM Family Fun Day and Boot Camp 2015

Another great year at the SM Family Day!  Thomas did so great this year and even came up with the name for his group!  He was really a rock star today.  He did lots of brave talking, high fives, playing with new friends, swimming, answering choice questions, etc.  Here he is playing with new friends (holding ball) and in the orange and green bathing suit after getting his brave metal for the day, which he walked down and got all by himself! :)  Here is a video link I found on the Smart Center's site from the day: SM Family Day video

Super Hero Party and separation anxiety creeping in again

Thomas had a great end of the school year this June.  A complete 180 from last year.  He fully participated in field day, including the potato sack race (was blown away by this!).   We had our IEP meeting with the school and he will be eligible for services again next year.  This will include helping him with transitions to activities including gym, music, computers, etc.  He was evaluated by an OT that the school uses and she determined that he is not eligible for this at school, because his difficulties are not affecting his academic learning.   He had a small super hero birthday party with 5 friends at our house that went amazing.  There were no issues with talking or sensory problems with the games.  We let him practice all the games before everyone came.   He is really coming along amazing except for a separation anxiety issue that is getting worse.

We are starting to have a HUGE separation anxiety problem.  Towards the end of school  I noticed him being more clingy on the playground with me and he started not wanting to go on playdates without me again.  I’ll ask him if he wants to go to a friends’ house and he says not unless you are there.  Now that he is home with me all day, he gets upset if I go out to the car to get something or to the garage.  He comes running out the door screaming for me.  I started telling him where I am going, but it doesn’t help.  If we are outside and I need to use the bathroom, he runs back in with me until I’m done.   It is so draining on me and I find myself yelling at him a lot because it is driving me crazy.  No surprise he has trouble sleeping at night now too.  He wants to know what room I am going to be in after I put him to sleep and if he hears the door open down stairs he bolts down the steps screaming for me.   If my husband and I go out for the night, he gets so upset and will wait up in bed until we get home.
Separation anxiety was a huge issue at the end of the last school year too.  Coincidence or is there something to this?

Other than the severe separation anxiety right now, things are going really well.  He is talking to adults, friends, and  children he doesn’t know.   He also tried a trampoline for the first time the other day when no children were on it and has been enjoying his playdates if I stay with him.  

Here's a picture of him from his super hero bday.